She wouldn’t let me say that maybe I was an idiot for agreeing to see her, or that maybe I’d call it off. I couldn’t say anything. Looking back I realized that only thing I could have said, and should have said, was what was in my heart, ‘I love you.’ But I was too pissed, and getting too drunk, to think clearly. It was over with Julie, and I didn’t give a fuck about anything any more. So after the set we split again. Julie went to throw crumbs at the poor swans, and I grabbed another beer. Most of the guests went inside the house to get their dinner, some thin roast beef and hard potatoes, and, of course, the horrific white chocolate strawberries. The band went to eat, but I wasn’t hungry. I was in a weird mood, thrilled at the set, but still pissed at Julie for not trusting me, pissed at Bonnie for calling and starting this whole issue, and, I think pissed again at Julie about her frigidity. I hated to admit it, but I was taking it personally that she and I couldn’t have sex alone.. After a while, I could hear His return. The crop put me back on all fours. I waited, feeling the coarse Bermuda grass, hearing the ever present chirping and buzz of nature, and throbbing wherever the crop had found its mark. Then He was behind me, one hand on the small of my back, the other spreading my legs wider. Will He use me now? I felt something firm and slippery placed on my rump, then sliding down my crack! That was not He, it was cold. It was rolled around insistently, slowly yet firmly parting my sphincter. He eased it out and with strong fingers spread the slipperiness into me. I wanted to bolt! But where was I to go, chained and blind? The cool slippery firmness returned. It felt big, persistent. My anus betrayed me, yielding a little. Finding purchase, the phallus pressed ever deeper, opening my helpless body. I braced and groaned as the widest part split me impossibly. Then it was in. I heard Him walk away. Instinctively I tried to expel it. No! It was well seated, a.
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